THE ULTIMATE PRIVET STORY

[Dave54]

Hi, thought I'd post another humerous ( and educational) story from my "Bonsai Ramblings" book. It's a bit long winded, however, was well received when first written. ENJOY !!!..........NO SNAKES
Dave
MY NEW LIFE AS A BONSAI BY PETE THE PRIVET

In the Autumn of 2003 I was sharing my leisurely life as a noxious weed with a small herd of cows in a paddock in West Wallsend.
Feeling secure as the largest Privet in the entire paddock and flourishing there for maybe fifty years, I overheard the paddock’s owner give permission to a fellow named Greg, to remove some Privet to create something called Bonsai.
Greg removed numerous small to medium size mates of mine but I overheard him say to himself that he had a friend called Dave who would love the huge Privet as a feature display tree. Not for one moment did I realize he was talking about me as I stood 20 – 30 feet tall and had numerous trunks with an enormous diameter base.
Considerable time passed and the next thing I knew these two fellows climbed through the barbed wire fence with axe, crowbar, mattock , saw etc and came straight over to me. I just stood there totally helpless as the two men started to drool as to what they described as a brilliant ‘Nebari’. This bloke Dave started to tell Greg exactly what he had in store for me and I sensed that Greg was sorry he didn’t take me for himself.
Before very long they took to me with a saw, cutting all my tall trunks and branches off leaving me looking like a very short and stumpy ‘thing’ and I could sense that all the other privets and cows in the paddock were laughing at me.
Worse was to come, they used the mattock and axe to cut a ring around the soil at the base of my trunk and the next thing I knew they were rocking me back and forth trying to get at my Tap Root, which they eventually cut off. Oh the indignity of it all!
I could no nothing but make myself as heavy as possible and delight in watching them struggle as they dragged me back to the van. I thought I was going to die!!
Dave drove me back to his house and with no-one to help him unload, I made things as difficult as possible for him. He dragged me from the van to a wheelbarrow and then into his yard so I lent to one side and the barrow tipped over. I heard him say some words that I didn’t understand.
When I was located at my new resting place he took to my root system with scissors and then hosed off all the clay around my roots, didn’t he know that I obtained my food from there!! Was he trying to kill me after all this effort.
I laid there, devastated and fighting for life, when I saw him struggle with a huge bonsai pot which measured 120cm long (4 feet) and he placed it on top of a lovely red pedestal (he must be stronger than he looks).
Wondering how he was going to lift me into the pot without doing himself a serious injury, I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best. Much struggling prevailed but I was in the pot, but you wouldn’t believe it, I was sitting too high – more of those words I didn’t understand and he arrives back from the workshop with, could you believe it a power saw.
He leans me over and you guessed it, cuts off more of my base. How much torture can a guy inflict?
Finally, both exhausted, he carefully works some
beautiful potting mix with slow release fertilizer, around my root system leaving no air pockets for those nasty little critters to breed. A thorough watering and then he doses me up with ‘Seasol’ and I have been having this dreadful aftertaste of seaweed for weeks.
It’s been a bit stressful but I am settling in well as Dave seems to love all of his trees and his lovely wife waters me daily. I am feeling pretty special as I am placed in a prime position so everyone can see me.
Just recovering from the biggest trauma of my life, Dave comes out one day wearing goggles and carrying an angle grinder and Dremel. I was just starting to enjoy life again and he starts killing off some of my limbs, he calls the deadwood, ‘Jins’ and ‘Sharis’ and then he paints it with pure lime sulphur that really stings. Now that part of me has turned white.
Does this bloke know what he is doing? Every time I get a new shoot he decides if he will allow it to stay or not. He only keeps the ones that are on the outside of curves and pulls off the other ones. The ones that stay have to be in the exact position.
Will the torture ever end? Now he’s here with wire and before my new shoots even set in position he wires them loosely in a downward position to make them look old. I feel like a damn goose with all my structured branches, now I know what a Poodle feels like after a ‘clip’.
My shape seems to be continually changing as Dave creates these ‘pads’ of foliage on my branches and occasionally carving a bit more of my trunks.
The ugly duckling is now evolving into a beautiful swan and I heard Dave say the other day that I have the potential to develop into one of his best bonsai.

Won’t that put that Black Pine’s nose out of joint in the other section of the garden.

With the help of some of Dave’s bonsai mates, who knows. I might end up at next years show as I am growing so fast, the only trouble is I can just hear them now, standing in front of me and trying to find all my faults.

I am still in Dave’s collection

[Dave54]

Hi again,
thought you might be interested in a shot of the initial stump. To give yoy an idea of size, the pot is 1200 long ( 4 feet )
cheers
Dave

[Dave54]

Can't believe I gave you a rear view of the stump, but you get the idea !!!
Dave

[kcpoole]

NIce Story and even nicer privet

[mudlarkpottery]

Peter, Greg is the fellow with the olives whom you met. We have several Greg's in the club.
Penny.

[PeterW]

Peter, Greg is the fellow with the olives whom you met. We have several Greg's in the club.
Penny.

Yes i thought it might be.
Thanks for sharing this story Dave, it gives life to the saying "listen to your tree".
Can i ask please, did you end up cutting this tree back to nothing as in no roots at all, just a flat base? I imagine privet would be ok to do that to, is that the case in your expierience? Also, can you please post a close up of the leaf for me, i would like to see if it is the same type of privet we have in abundance up here, or is it a case of your bloody privets are better there then we have here as well as your Olives! Not fair! lol Thanks Dave, i enjoyed your story.

Regards
Peter

[mudlarkpottery]

A few people have remarked that they are short-lived. I noticed, Dave you said it was, then, about 50 years old. Can you give us an idea how long-lived they are. Maybe their short lifespan is due to the wood being so soft and rotting so easily without some intervention. Similar to Acacias being short-lived in the wild because of borers but lasting a lot longer with cultivation.
Penny.

[MelaQuin]

I have never developed a fondness for the topiary look, even on plants in Asian collections. I just don't feel that is what bonsai is about. To my view, there is an artificialness about the look despite the obvious amount of work that has gone into developing and styling the tree. It does show off the deadwood but would one find this much deadwood on a privet in the wild? Well, there have to be differing opinions in any matter of styling and this is mine.

[Dave54]

Hi everyone, I'll try to answer all of the questions.
1) Penny, I have two privets in excess of 100 years old, collected from a hedge in Newcastle, the premises of which have been in the one family for all that time. I will photograph them this afternoon and post them here for you.
Their shortcoming is that they have a variegated leaf.
2) Mela quin, for your information, the abovementioned trees have hollowed trunks and natural deadwood that I will try to highlight in the photo.
I don't want any intentional controversy, however,I get the feeling we have history, so, if you are the person I think you are, I would not expect any positive critique from you.
Your choice of not appreciating what you call Topiary, is fine by me. As I always state that bonsai is a mixture of Art, Style and horticulture and I do bonsai to please my own tastes and if other people appreciate them, all the better. Nearly ALL enthusiasts who enter my yard are drawn to "PETE PRIVET" because it has a certain WOW factor and its imposing size. It is unfortunate, in bonsai, as in life, some people can't move forward and look outside of the square when it comes to progressing design techniques. But you are fully entitled to both your opinion and your critique.
3) Peter, mate I will post photo of the leaves this afternoon. I think you will be jealous as the leaf size is small and reduces further with continual trimming or pruning. I suspect you may have the broad leaf privet from what you say.
No I don't cut ALL roots off, however, there is a story to those 100 year old privets mentioned above. They were dug out by the owner(or ripped out) almost bare rooted and left in 40 degree temps for 2 days before he phoned me.They had next to no roots and only 4 out of 10 survived. I kept 2.
I always try to keep as many feeder roots as possible.
cheers till this afternoon
Dave

[Jon Chown]

I have never developed a fondness for the topiary look, even on plants in Asian collections

Ahh! The 'neat freaks' verses the 'mucky moos'. Thank goodness we are not all the same. While I appreciate you opinion Lee, I honestly believe that you are selling this style short by calling it topiary. I recon that Dave has done a remarkable job on the perspective of this tree and in my opinion he has created exactly what I would expect to see if this tree was being viewed from a distance.

I would love to see a tree of this or similar substance designed in 'the other' style, but sadly I am still waiting for one that can take my breath away. I honestly believe that the creation of a natural style is an urban myth.

sorry to hijack your thread Dave.

Jon

[Dave54]

Hi Jon,
no problem and I agree fully with your observations. From my club experience, a few years after bonsai "Digs", a big percentage of members still have the "Yamadori" in the original containers and have not attempted anything because they don't quite know where to start.
Others who attempt to replicate nature, have a "bush" in a pot and then there are the "Bonsai Artists" who, whether you like their style or not, produce something that can be viewed as a bonsai.
If one wants Privet, it is rare to find a natural taper, so carving is a must. Our problem is creating Deadwood that doesn't go soft and "hardens" naturally as in nature. I will share my tips down the track.
I must say that this is the second posting that I have made trying to add humour into the lives of us "Boring Bonsai Bods" and unfortunately, the first one was consumed by the participation of the SNAKE and now the revolving door of TOPIARY.
I hope others can enjoy the story for what it was intended, partly educational but mostly humerous.
Maybe I should just make members buy the book !!!
cheers
Dave

[Dave54]

Hi guys,
here are the 100 year old privets as promised with close up of natural deadwood.

[Si Van Nguyen]

applause.gif

A very imposing bonsai Dave54! Giant sized bonsai like this has to be seen in person, or at least with a very large photo, in order for one to fully appreciate all its depth and details. It is a little bit "topiary", but it has to be for this size, otherwise it would just be one big round bush.
I like it!

Si

[Dave54]

Hi,
I am having all sorts of trouble uploading photos, so here they are one at a time
cheers
Dave

[Dave54]

Hi,
here is a close up of the naturally hollowed trunk of the 100 year old privet.
cheers
Dave