The great Aussie bonsai limerick competition

[Bretts]

Dam I want a Nothogagus gunnii I almost failed english so this will be a challenge

[kcpoole]

Dam I want a Nothogagus gunnii I almost failed english so this will be a challenge

they nearly kicked me out of high school for poor english performance, so I concur.
I would also love a Nothofagus as well, so we ill have to think hard

[Bretts]

Any chance of a picture of the prize? Considering the english skills of members some of us might have to buy one

[tanglefoot]

Oh wow! A limerick bonanza! Terrific! I love the rhymes coming in....limericks are just so quirky! And to think i'd never set eyes on a bonsai limerick before!! I guess you don't normally associate limericks with an oriental art! Maybe next year we could get serious and go Haiku, one of the world's most beautiful forms of poetry.

I don't think anyone should worry about getting the limericks exactly right....just have a go! You never know, someone might put up a consellation prize or two. We could have one for the worst limerick!

Personally, I'm probably better at limericks than I am at bonsai (which is not saying a lot) so here's my offering for tonight:

A LESSON LEARNED (maybe)

I looked at my tree with a frown
Then I wired a likely branch down
It looked really slick
Gave myself the big tick
But by next week, the damn thing was brown!

[kcpoole]

A LESSON LEARNED (maybe)

I looked at my tree with a frown
Then I wired a likely branch down
It looked really slick
Gave myself the big tick
But by next week, the damn thing was brown!

Lovely Tanglefoot !

Hey Brett with material like this coming out on the first night, We ain't got a chance. Oh well we can only but try

Ken

[Shannon]

Dug out a fig from Bundy
Made into a bonsai on sunday
Will made an inspection
Now its in his collection
I'm getting a Pat Kennedy monday!

[Emoska]

THE CYCLE OF LIFE

When some mites on my Elm had invaded,
My hope for success remained bated,
After spraying them with oil,
I thought their plans I had foiled,
Until the next day it was covered in aphids!

[Dave54]

Hi guys,
A young bloke named Bretty
was indeed rather petty.
So let's call them Nebari
and Shari.
cheers and no offence Brett
Dave

[Bretts]

No offence taken Dave but yours is not a true limerick so it doesn't count;

Dave Kiernan had trees for sale
He said, don't use my real name or I'll bail
But then he went next door
And the security issues were no more
I wonder if he'll read this and wail

[lindsay farr]

They should have been pruning 'n' weeding
Re-potting de-wiring 'n' feeding
But instead they chose prose
Silly rhymes in five rows
Gave up growing for writing and reading

[tanglefoot]

yep....fair enough Lindsay, there's only so much poetry a real bloke can stand! (I'll just have another bite of me quiche....
mmmm...) OK.....however

They worked on their plants by the day
It was cold, but the mania held sway
But it's not such a lark
To work in the dark
So a touch of the verse (unfortunately, whether you like it or not) comes your way

........and yes, it's not quite dark down here in the green isle, but it's too bloody cold to be outside (although not nearly as cold as Canberra........)

I think I'll go and light the fire

See ya's, Tangles

[Joel]

As i really want the tree, I forced myself to write a few. Unfortunately, i failed at producing anything better than whats on here already, but i still had fun!

One day I bought a fine bonsai,
And decided to share on AusBonsai.
But when I found out I was lied to,
And I started to cry too.
I chucked out the half dead fig mallsai!

At a raffle I won Pat K’s pot
And figure it was worth quiet a lot
So I sold it on eBay
Felt sorry the next day
Because I thought the damn thing was hot!

To obtain the shape I desire,
Should I pinch, prune or wire?
Wiring can leave a mark
Pruning too much looks stark
And from pinching, my fingers start to tire.

For sale I saw Mudlarks pot,
And found that I liked it a lot.
So I decided to bid,
And win it, I did.
But is it too good to use it or not?

JayC

[Jarrod]

Here is my attempt,


I'd love to visit bonsai of the island,
Cos' dont think their trees will be bland,
next time I go south,
just from word of mouth,
I'm sure they will be in demand.

[stymie]

I'm gutted to be out of the competition by an accident of birth.
Could I be included if I offer to pay carriage on the pot?

[stymie]

A bonsai nut who'se name is draper
Has a fig with distinct lack of taper
So the gouges come out
as he claimes with a shout
"Let's see how this hardware can shape 'er".